


Dear Prudie

by JustLookFrightenedAndScuttle



Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Advice Column, All about John and Sherlock, Johnlock Roulette, M/M, Their friends want them to get it together already, not chronological, trigger warning for discussion of suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-29
Updated: 2016-03-12
Packaged: 2018-05-23 21:39:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 7,752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6130957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustLookFrightenedAndScuttle/pseuds/JustLookFrightenedAndScuttle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John and Sherlock's friends and loved ones write "Dear Prudie" to find out how they can influence the boys to see what everyone else does.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Dear Prudie #1

**Author's Note:**

> I own neither BBC "Sherlock" nor the "Dear Prudence" advice column. This started as a series of Tumblr ficlets; I'll post a new letter every day for 10 days.  
> ***The chapter count is rising! Now it's looking like 12 chapters and an epilogue.***

Dear Prudie,

Help me figure out how to make things right with my brother.

He’s angry at me because I told him that if he wanted to shag his flatmate (a socially awkward genius type who’s more than half a nutter), he should just go for it, because the attraction is mutual.

He nearly yelled at me right there in the coffee shop that he is NOT GAY, and why does everyone think he is? Well, I knew I’d put my foot right in it. I mean, I know he likes girls – he’s dated enough of them in the past year – but I remember the crush he had on Billy down the street when he was 12, and the way he talked about someone he knew in the army, and right there in the shop he couldn’t tear his eyes away from the arse on the waiter when he was clearing the next table!

Maybe he’s not gay, but that doesn’t mean he’s not attracted to men, and you should hear him go on about his flatmate (who, he says, doesn’t do relationships). The thing is, I’ve seen the way his flatmate’s face changes when my brother walks into the room, and the way he looks to my brother for approval. Truth be told, I don’t like the guy much, but my brother does, and I just want him to be happy.

Don’t Call Me Harriet

Dear Not Harriet,

The first thing you can do to make things right is to stop giving your brother advice on his love life if he doesn’t want it. It doesn’t sound like he’s had a relationship with another man, or at least one he’s open about, even if the attraction is clear to you (and, apparently, the rest of the world). Or maybe he’s perfectly clear on his feelings but doesn’t think they will be returned, and he doesn’t want to set himself up for heartbreak, or even just more awkwardness with someone you’ve said has difficulty navigating social situations.

I’m afraid all you can do is be as supportive as possible if he does ask, and otherwise count your blessings that you won’t be sitting across the table at Christmas dinner from a brother-in-law who rubs you wrong way.


	2. Dear Prudie #2

Dear Prudie,

How can I get my friend to ask his flatmate out already?

These two blokes have been living together for years now – well, except for when my mate was dead and then when the other one was married – and they’ve never been just flatmates, if you know what I mean. They live in one another’s pockets, and we all thought they were together for months, the way one would turn up like a bad penny wherever the other one went. Turned out they weren’t. When the one I knew from before went and pretended to commit suicide, only no one knew it was pretend, the other one mourned for months. One night when he was drunk he told me his biggest regret was never telling the dead one how he felt. I don’t know if he remembers saying that. 

Then the dead one came back, and I figured that was it, right? But the bloke – not the dead one – kept right on with the woman he’d started dating, and ended up marrying her, even though they didn’t even seem to like each other. It was a weird wedding, especially with the first bloke as best man and basically declaring undying love for his friend.

It wasn’t long after that the first one got shot and almost really died, and the other one isn’t married anymore – no one’s sure what happened to the wife, but she’s out of the picture – and why can’t they just get together before something else happens? My mate – the dead-not-dead one – always says I’m clueless, but why can’t he see what’s right in front of him?

DI Has A Clue

Dear Clue,

Your friends seem to lead very eventful lives! Have you thought about taking up screenwriting?

I have no idea how much of this is factual, and how much came out of your imagination, but I think your question boils down this: You have two friends who have or who had feelings for each other, but neither one seems to recognize that the other feels the same? 

I usually advise people to not get involved in other people’s love lives, but the fact that the flatmate talked to you about his feelings might give you an in to say something to him, if not to his friend. Take him out for coffee (if he really doesn’t remember the previous conversation, maybe you shouldn’t encourage him to imbibe) and remind him of what he said, and tell him you think the other one would respond well.

And if your original mate says something directly to you, tell him to go for it. Otherwise, it really is not your division.

Prudie


	3. Dear Prudie #3

Dear Prudie,

I’ve made a huge mistake, and it’s too late to correct it. I developed feelings for a colleague several years ago, and I’m certain he had similar feelings for me. We weren’t in a situation where we could be together openly, so I never said anything, and neither did he. 

He left the situation we were in under difficult circumstances, but with his honor intact. I hoped to contact him and determine his interest in continuing our acquaintance, but I was less fortunate in my manner of leaving. Suffice it to say that I was responsible for an event that had disastrous consequences for several other people, although that was never my intention, and I was sent away in disgrace. I know my friend knew of the incident; indeed, he contacted me three or four times to express his support and offered to see me. But I did not want to see pity on the face that once offered me smiles full of affection and admiration, so I rebuffed him.

You might suppose I’m asking for help on how to connect with a man I’ve rejected. But I do know I missed my chance with him; the next time I saw him was at his wedding, where he smiled at me with the same affection and even admiration he’d always had, but without the added spark I once saw there. That spark I saw not when he looked at the bride, but at his best man, who looked at and spoke of my friend with such longing it nearly broke my heart – and, incidentally, did me a great service.

My question is this: how can I convince my friend not to miss his chance at happiness, as I did? He is a man of honor, and might not want to leave his wife, but I don’t want him to repeat my mistake.

Soldiering on 

Dear Soldier,

I sense a great sadness behind your words, and a great heart, to wish happiness for a man you once loved.

But it would be very difficult for you, at this point, to advise him to put his notions of honor aside and reach for happiness for himself when it was your sense of disgrace that made you push him away. He might very well tell you it is none of your business, and I can’t say he would be wrong.

What of his best man (best friend), though? You said he did you a service. Did he speak openly enough that you believe your friend understands his feelings? If not, could you encourage him to speak more plainly – and more privately, perhaps – to your friend?

If not, you may have to accept the commission it seems you have been given: offering your friendship to a man who, like you, knows the pain of missed opportunities.


	4. Dear Prudie #4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now beta'd by the wonderful PennDWebber!

Dear Prudie,

Should I go out with this bloke even though I know he’s not really into me?

I mean, he asked me out, so I guess you could say he is into me, but I really think he’s not. Into me, or really, women in general, or really, anyone except his best friend.

The thing is, he’s quite fit, and he has these eyes that seem to change color and these perfect lips and he can see everything about everybody. We met at his best friend’s wedding – best man and maid of honor – and he looked shocked when I just joked about having sex with him. And then went on to tell me exactly who to pull, based on how his collar was folded or some such.

Anyway, he calls me out of the blue less than a month later to ask me for coffee, or more like tell me we were going for coffee. That was last night, and I could tell he was trying – he held my hand and looked in my eyes – but it looked like the poor boy was being tortured!

The thing is, he could be very useful to me, and not just for knowing who to pull. I think there’s a way he thinks I could be useful to him, too. It might be just helping get over his friend, or making his friend jealous, but there could be more to it. I just don’t know exactly what.

So would it be wrong to start a relationship with someone knowing that I’m not exactly his cup of tea, but thinking we could each be useful to the other? FWIW, he is _very_ fit, and I wouldn’t mind sharing a bed with him under any circumstances!

Always the Bridesmaid

Dear Bridesmaid,

Normally, I say don’t waste your time on someone if you have different goals for the relationship, but I’m not so sure you do.

It sounds as if you would be happy if this relationship turned out to be the one to make you a bride, but you don’t expect that to happen. You really seem quite clear-eyed about the whole thing.

The question is whether one or both of you, or somebody else, will get hurt by the ways you intend to use and be of use to one another, and that’s not something I can tell from your letter. In fact, it seems that you can’t really tell at this point either.

But the fact that you are considering continuing to see this man tells me you are not the sort to lay your cards on the table, and the way he asked you out leads me to believe he is the same.

Perhaps you deserve one another. But maybe you would be better friends than bedmates?

Prudie

 


	5. Dear Prudie #5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many thanks to PennDWebber for the quick and thorough beta job!

Dear Prudie,

Oh, dear Lord. I can’t believe I am doing this. But I’ve tried what I know, and nothing has worked.

How can I get my brother to get over the utterly irrational infatuation he has with regard to his flatmate? And, if that proves impossible, how can I get his flatmate to acknowledge and return his feelings, so we can all move on?

I’ve told him repeatedly that caring is not an advantage, and that he should be careful to not get involved, but still he allows his feelings for his friend to override his intellect, leading him on at least one occasion to relapse into a drug habit that I had supposed was long in his past.

The flatmate is no doubt an above-average sort of man – medical degree, decorated soldier, etc. – but his intelligence can’t hold a candle to the standard in our family. He clings to a somewhat naive conception of right and wrong and cares far too much about what other people think and feel, whereas my brother and I understand that sometimes doing great good means you have to disregard some social conventions along the way. I fear that a liaison between my brother and him would prove limiting for my brother.

On the other hand, my brother is so distracted by trying to figure this man out that he nearly threw his life away, and simply getting the man to leave the flat proved counterproductive as well.

What should I do?

The Smarter One

Dear Smarter,

Let me guess: you’re the older sibling, right?

For the love of Pete, leave your brother alone to figure this out. He’s driven to distraction by this man, the flatmate seems amenable, your brother is clever and his friend is moral. It sounds as though they could be a good team.

But maybe your interference has already thrown a spanner in the works. Perhaps your brother is afraid to let anyone see his feelings, since you have taught him that caring puts one at a disadvantage. Have you thought about letting him see you care for someone? You obviously care about him, to take such a close interest in his life, so that’s a good place to start. Tell him how his self-destructive behavior makes you feel, and maybe find a project you can work on together.

Prudie


	6. Dear Prudie #6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to PennDWebber for beta-ing! All remaining mistakes are mine -- unlike the characters.

Dear Prudie,

How can I stop one of my boys from marrying the wrong person?

I know it’s not my place to say anything. I’m not his mother, just his landlady. His ex-landlady, I suppose, because he hasn’t lived in the flat upstairs for years now. You see, he moved out when his flatmate left, and I didn’t hear from him for two years. He didn’t have to leave because of the money – there was an account with enough in it to pay the rent on the flat for years – but I don’t know if his friend ever told him that. In any case, I never rented it out, not with all their things still there.

Then he showed up on the doorstep one day and told me he was moving on and getting married. Wouldn’t you know, that same night his best friend returned from out of the blue, and I thought that would put an end to that, because I always could tell those two boys fancied each other.

I was an exotic dancer, you know, and you get to recognize that look on someone’s face.

But now his friend is planning the wedding for him, looking like he’s dying a little each day, and he is doing his best to leave his fiancée (an odd sort of girl, I think) behind while he spends time with his friend.

I know what it’s like to end up married to the wrong person. My late husband was a drug lord and a murderer until he was executed in Florida. (I just did the typing.)

Not their housekeeper

Dear Housekeeper,

You sound like a very sweet woman, so I’ll say this as gently as I can: You really must keep your nose out of your tenants’ business. No one wants their landlord (or landlady in your case) knowing every detail of their lives; do you let yourself into their flat when they aren’t home? Tenants hate that.

But you said the one who’s getting married doesn’t live there anymore, but he still comes round and talks to you? I suppose you could argue that gives you friend status. As a friend, you can tell him – once – that maybe he should think again about getting married. Maybe share the story about what happened with your husband. But if that doesn’t stop him, you’ll just have to grin and bear it.

Good luck!

Prudie

 


	7. Dear Prudie #7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to PennDWebber, both for suggesting this character, and for beta'ing!

Dear Prudie,

I am going to lose my mind. I have a … a colleague, I guess, who shows me up at every turn. It’s disgusting the way everyone fawns over him. I have the education and the certifications to do my job, but any time we run into the slightest bit of difficulty, the team leader calls in this consultant.

The thing is, he didn’t do anything to qualify for this work. He just sweeps onto the scene, this posh, public-school peacock, cuts everyone down right and left, uses unorthodox methods to draw his conclusions, makes his pronouncements and sweeps off again. He doesn’t have to follow the rules or do any of the grunt work, but he gets all the glory.

If that’s not bad enough, now my girlfriend tells me he’s a better boyfriend than me as well, even though she doesn’t like him any more than I do. He pays attention to his man, she says. He looks at him with hearts in his eyes. He shows concern for him -- when his partner is there, he’ll stop for lunch even though he doesn’t generally eat himself, she says. Why can’t you care for me like that, she says.

What does she want from me? She knew I was married when we started up together, and when I’m not at work I have to give my attention to my wife. A man can only give so much. Besides, according to this smart-arse consultant’s partner, they’re not even together like that.

What can I do to take him down a peg or two?

Rache Means Revenge in German

Dear Rache,

It sounds like you really want this man out of your hair. Too bad it doesn’t sound like you have any say over when he gets called in, if it’s your team leader doing it. Is engaging consultants something he has the authority to do?

When he consults, does he get results? You talked about how he doesn’t do things by the book, the way you do, but you never said if his “pronouncements” were correct. If they aren’t, then someone needs to point that out to your superior, or, if necessary, to his or her superior. If he does usually get it right, maybe you could look more closely at how he gets those results. We can always learn more, and often from unlikely sources.

As for your problems with your girlfriend, perhaps you should start by dealing with the issue of having a wife and a girlfriend at the same time. It sounds as though your girlfriend works with you; is an extramarital workplace affair a wise idea?

When it comes to the way the consultant treats his “partner” -- in whatever sense of the word -- if he wanted to seek my advice, I’d tell him he’d make someone a lovely boyfriend. 

Prudie 


	8. Dear Prudie #8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to PennDWebber for the suggestion and for beta-ing!

Dear Prudie,

I have to be tough to do my job. As a woman in a male-dominated field, I take no guff and make no apologies. I knew that’s how it would be when I chose this career, and I welcome the challenge.

Over the years, I’ve earned the respect of my colleagues and superiors. My boss -- who can be a teddy bear at times -- trusts my judgment and shows his faith in me on a regular basis. He even let me make the last moves in the successful conclusion of a project that had been giving us fits for years.

Sounds good, right? So what’s my problem? The problem is that a few years ago, I had a part -- a big part -- in making an accusation that did a lot of damage to someone we worked with frequently. He was gone for a while, and people thought he had committed suicide. It turned out my accusation was wrong.

Everyone knows I never liked the bloke; he never liked me either. But that’s not why I said what I did.

My boss, who has always supported me, was friendly with this guy; he was reprimanded and his career stalled until the man’s name was cleared. Another colleague, who shared my suspicions and also accused him, was so upset over what happened that he developed an obsession with the bloke and ended up losing his job. The man himself returned from wherever he went to find that his life wasn’t the same; the person we all thought he was in love with had moved on and gotten engaged.

Should I feel guilty? Because I don’t. I followed the evidence and I voiced the doubts it raised in my mind. The man in question never defended himself, and his apparent suicide looked like an admission of guilt. If he would have stayed and answered questions, the issue could have been settled within days, not years.

Do I owe him an apology? Because I don’t want to give one.

Won’t Go On My Knees to Him

Dear Knees,

Why are you writing to me? What I get from your letter is that you need to be tough to do your job, you are good at your job, and you did what you had to do. There were some unfortunate effects, and people got hurt, but not because you did what you were supposed to do.

So why should you feel guilty or apologize? I don’t know that you should. But if you’re asking the question, you must be thinking about it. Is your conscience bothering you because, even if you crossed your t’s and dotted your i’s, you know that maybe, if you liked this fellow more, you could have taken extra steps to mitigate the harm to your colleagues and to the man himself?

If you don’t want to apologize, don’t. But if you want to say you’re sorry about how things turned out, what’s stopping you?

Prudie


	9. Dear Prudie #9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to PennDWebber for the beta!

Dear Prudie,

How do I break up with my fiancé without hurting his feelings?

I started dating him about a year ago. I was coming off a longtime crush that didn’t work out. I knew it would never work with my crush – I’m really not his type at all – but he’s clever and gorgeous and has the most beautiful eyes that see everything and we became quite good friends, really. He sometimes says really hurtful things and likes to act like he has no feelings, but I can see through the mask he puts up.

Anyway, my crush went away for a long time, and while he was gone I realized that he would never be more than a crush, but still a good friend, so I decided to move on. I met my fiance, who is very different: he is kind and considerate and close to his family.

Then my original crush came back, and everybody teased me because they thought I was trying to replace him! I guess their looks are a little bit similar – they’re both tall and lean and have longish hair and wear long coats – but they really couldn’t be more different. My fiance is, well, a bit dull. He does well enough in his work, but he’s not really clever. And he seems to think I’m pretty and I’m sweet, but he doesn’t seem to understand that I’m also clever and very good at my job, which is important to me.

I know I’ll never have a romantic relationship with the man I had feelings for before; it’s become very clear to me that he’s in love with someone else. But I want someone to look at me the way he looks at the person he loves, and, maybe just as important, I want to love someone that much.

And I don’t think I’ll ever have that with my fiance.

Sad when he’s not looking

Dear Sad,

Well, if you want to break up with him, you could start by saying he’s dull and not really clever and can’t hold a candle to the man you’ve been daydreaming about. That would probably do the trick. He might even break up with you before you can call things off!

But then you said you don’t want to hurt his feelings. That’s a bit trickier. You could always go with the classic, “It’s not you, it’s me,” and tell him that he deserves to be with someone who can love him like he deserves. If he’s good-looking, tall, kind, considerate and successful in his work, the women should be lining up.

Meanwhile, congratulations on giving up on a crush that sounds like he was more trouble that he was worth! Good luck on finding someone who will value you for the things that are important to you! 

Prudie


	10. Dear Prudie #10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note that the rating has gone to teen and up, and the tags now include a trigger warning for discussion of suicide.  
> Thanks to PennDWebber for beta'ing and making this all more intelligible!

Dear Prudie,

I think I’ve made a terrible mistake, and it could cost a friend of mine his life.

I set up this friend with another friend of mine for a flatshare, but when I introduced them, I had a feeling that it might develop into something more. I have a reputation as something of a Cupid, and when I get that feeling about people, I’ve found, I’m usually right.

Anyway, I went to uni and med school with this guy, and then after qualifying, he went and joined the army and got shipped off to Afghanistan. It wasn’t very surprising – he thrived on adrenaline, and while he was always a good doctor, he went to another level in a crisis. The more crazy the situation, the calmer he got.

We hadn’t seen each other for years, and then I saw him walking through the park with a cane one day. He looked kind of smaller, faded. He was bored, and broke, and needed a place to live.

So I brought him to meet another friend, who is incredibly bright, as well as abrasive and full of himself, and also broke. He needed a flatmate.

Two days later, they were sharing a flat, and almost immediately, they were inseparable. My mate – the army doctor – always said they weren’t a couple, but I always thought he wanted them to be.

Then, about a year and a half later, the man I introduced him to went and killed himself, jumped off a building right in front of my mate, who was his partner and best friend, if not his significant other. And my friend … I thought he looked broken before. Now he is destroyed. He doesn’t want to see anyone, and if he does, he barely talks. He moved out of the flat they shared. He looks like someone who doesn’t want to be alive anymore.

Part of me feels that because I introduced the two of them, I should find a way to help him. Another part of me feels that I’ve done enough. I’m definitely getting out of the matchmaking business.

No More Cupid

Dear Cupid,

First, you are not responsible for the mental health of either of your friends. How could you have known when you introduced them what would happen 18 months later?

Second, if you are worried about your friend, have you talked to him about it, or suggested that he get counseling? Tell him you’re concerned after what happened with his flatmate, and give him the phone number for the Samaritans suicide prevention hotline (+44 (0) 8457 90 90 90). It might be awkward, but let him know you care.

And if your feelings about what couples would work together are really that perceptive, perhaps we should meet for coffee? I’d like to pick your brain.

Prudie

_Note: The suicide prevention number is real. In the US, you can call 1-800-273-8255. For a list of suicide prevention hotlines in other countries, click[here](http://www.suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html)._


	11. Dear Prudie #11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to PennDWebber for the beta job!

Dear Prudie,

I need to know whether I should tell my best friend I love him.

Not that I love him in a platonic or brotherly way – I certainly don’t love my brother that way at all, and, in any case, we’ve already covered that.

No, I need to know whether to tell him that I have lived for him, and I am most likely going to die for him, and if that means that he can live and be happy without me, it’s quite all right. I know I could never be happy without him. So.

Despite my devotion to him, I know that over the course of our friendship I have hurt him deeply, almost unforgivably on one occasion, and in smaller ways many times over. There might have been a chance for us to become romantically involved earlier in our friendship – he told me he was attracted to me and that he cared for me with the way his body reacted to my proximity, the way he treated my wounds and fed me, the way he openly admired my work. I’d never had anyone react to me like that, and I’d certainly never reacted to anyone the way I reacted to him. I was frightened, and pushed him away. He eventually moved on.

Now our acquaintance is coming to an end; I am leaving for an assignment from which I will almost certainly never return. I am leaving him with a wife and unborn child, all he said he wanted, and yet he seems unhappy.

Before I leave, should I tell him that I love him?

For me, he will always be

The Only One in the World

Dear One,

You seem to have thought long and hard about your relationship with your friend. I’m sorry that things worked out this way for you.

To decide whether you should bare your heart to your friend, I think you should ask yourself what you hope to accomplish. You say you are leaving, never to return. What good will it do for him to learn that you love him? Could he come with you? Would you be presenting him with a choice, albeit a difficult one, between the life you thought he wanted and going away with you? Or would you merely be torturing a man you once thought had feelings for you by making him consider what might have been?

Prudie


	12. Dear Prudie #12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last of the letters. Epilogue coming tomorrow! Thanks to PennDWebber for all of her help!

Dear Prudie,

I don’t know what to do.

I know what I should do: stay with my wife, love her the best I can, go to work every day, raise our child to do well in school and be a good person and be successful and go on and maybe have kids of her own.

That’s what good men do, what honourable men do. I always thought I was an honourable man, and I stood up in front of God and everyone and promised to love and cherish her, in sickness and in health, ’til death do us part.

But what if the woman I made those promises to doesn’t really exist? What if the name she told me, way back when we first met, was never her name at all, and none of the things she told me about herself ever happened to her? What if her very existence is a lie? What about the death part? Does that count the death of my best friend on the operating table, after she shot him? Even if he managed to restart his heart and claw his way back? Is that enough death to void the promise I made?

Because I also know what I want to do, and it is not to stay with my wife. I want to go back to living with my friend, the mad genius, who loves me enough to try to make me happy even if it makes him miserable. Well, I can’t be happy unless he is. So.

I want to share a flat with him. I want to share my life with him. I want to find out if I can share a bed with him. I never really thought that was a possibility, but given some recent developments. Yeah. I might have been wrong about that.

But what about our daughter? Is she my daughter? If my lying wife lied about everything else, what if she lied about that too? What if she didn’t? If it is my daughter, I want to do right by her. I want to love and raise her to be a brilliant and amazing person, in whatever way she’s meant to be brilliant and amazing. As long as that doesn’t involve killing people for money. Which means I would have to find a way to keep her away from her mother’s influence.

OK, maybe I’m exaggerating a bit for the sake of your readers. But really, what should I do?

Lost Blogger

Dear Lost,

It seems to me that if the woman you married is not really the woman you thought you married, you might not be married at all. Have you consulted a solicitor about that? There may be extenuating circumstances – if she was already married, for example, the marriage would be void, or if she was pregnant by another man at the time of the marriage, you would be granted an annulment – or it may be there is another way out.

You said you exaggerated a bit; did she really shoot your friend? Why isn’t she in prison? I would think that would provide plenty of grounds for a divorce.

As honourable as it is to want to support your family, a family built on lies will never hold together. The bonds between you will disintegrate like tissue paper under the deluge of consequences from the lies she told you, and the lies you told her.

Yes, you did lie to her. You didn’t love her the way a husband should, above all others. That much is clear from your letter. You married her because you thought you couldn’t have what you really wanted, and now that it appears you can, you want to leave her.

My advice to you is to go, even if you think it will offend some idea of honour. Go and live the life you were meant to live and love the one you were meant to love. Staying with your wife under duress does neither her nor your daughter any favours. As for your wife, wouldn’t she be better off with someone who actually does love her? Assuming you were joking about the killing people part, of course.

Prudie


	13. Dear Prudie: Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone for reading! Thanks to PennDWebber for betaing!

Dear readers,

Every so often I like to get in touch with some of the people who have written letters to me to see how things have turned out. I reached out to some of the writers who have touched a nerve over the past several years, and asked for updates. Here is what they had to say:

Don’t Call Me Harriet

Well, surprise, surprise. Turns out my brother is gay. Or at least bi. What I mean to say is, he finally pulled his head out of his arse and admitted he had a thing for his flatmate. It took him long enough!

Sure enough, his flatmate had a thing for him too, and they’re disgustingly happy together.

But between mum and dad’s reaction to having two queer kids, and the way my brother’s boyfriend knows way too much about me, Christmas is looking a little uncomfortable this year. Maybe a holiday in Spain?

DI Has a Clue

I knew it! I knew they would end up together! All it took was a little push. I had them both out at the pub -- and you don’t know how rare it is to get my friend, the one who died, to go to the pub. His flatmate, well, now his boyfriend, is probably the only one who could get him to come out. But he did, and when the flatmade went to buy a round, I took my friend aside and told him what his flatmate said to me when he was dead.

Well, it must have been what he was waiting for, because that night when my colleagues and I left, there they were snogging under the streetlamp! I won 300 pounds in the office pool!

Soldiering On

Thank you for getting back in touch. I spoke briefly to my friend and told him he was making a mistake. He told me he would take it under advisement. He emailed me months later to say he was no longer married, and he had moved back in with his best friend, and he thanked me for what I said. He asked me to come see them, or said they would come see me, but I don’t think that’s a good idea at this time.

Always a Bridesmaid

Well, I was right. He was never interested in me. He wanted to pump me for information about my employer, and to make his friend jealous. The thing is, I definitely would have given him the information he wanted if he only told me the truth. As for making his friend jealous? I’m not sure. They ended up together after all, and if making his friend jealous helped, I’m not sorry. Then again, his friend looked so upset when I went into the bath with him, and then when I kissed him. It was almost funny -- he didn’t even really kiss me back, but his friend didn’t notice that.

Still, proposing to me was going a bit too far, and maybe I wouldn’t have been knocked cold if I knew what to look for. I did well out of it, though, and who knows? Maybe the stories I spread actually helped his reputation!

The Smarter One

The loss of my brother would break my heart. That’s what I tell myself when I have to spend any length of time with him and his significant other. He is undoubtedly happier now that the two of them confessed their feelings for each other. He is also more insufferable. Oh, he doesn’t sulk so often, and his drug use has ended, at least for the time being, and most people would say he is more pleasant. But now he can’t believe that I am content as I am, without becoming attached to someone as he has done. He even bought me a goldfish!

Not the Housekeeper

Oh, Prudie, I am so thrilled. My boys are both back home! And they’re only using one bedroom!

I tried your advice, and I have to say it didn’t work -- at least not right then. I told the one who was getting married about my husband, and about how wonderful things are when you really click with a person. I thought he understood -- I mean, that it’s horrible to marry the _wrong_ person -- but he went and married that woman anyway! And his best friend left the wedding early. (Who leaves a wedding early?) Anyway, things were just terrible for a while, I can’t even tell you. But then when it looked like it was all going to end, things turned around. The one who was married came back, and he wasn’t married anymore, and his wife was gone. I knew it was only a matter of time. Three weeks later I caught them kissing on the stairs! Can you imagine, at their age! Anyway, I like to think the one who came back remembered what I told him. I think I’ll have my own married ones soon!

Rache Means Revenge

I look back at what I wrote to you a few years ago, and I almost can’t believe I’m the same person. How could I bear so much resentment and so much jealousy towards one of the most brilliant men of our age? I regret to say I took your advice, although I may have twisted it a bit. I got both the consultant and my superior in hot water. Well, the consultant more than my boss. It was awful really, and afterwards, the enormity of what I’d done hit me, and I ended up leaving my position. I now survive quite nicely with what I make off several blogs and vlogs I run, mostly geared towards conspiracy theories.

As for my romantic life, both my wife and girlfriend thought I was crazy after I quit my job, so that took care of that problem.

Won’t Get on My Knees

Thanks for validating my feeling that I was right to do my job. That helped immensely. I did end up apologizing, both to the man who was accused and to my boss, not for raising the questions but for the way I did it. I could have kept it quieter. I could have looked into the evidence before going above my direct supervisor’s head. For what it’s worth, neither one held a grudge at all, which surprised me. The man involved was away for a couple of years. When he came back, he was different -- not as cold, I suppose. Anyway, he said it had to happen the way it did, and if I hadn’t pushed the issue, someone else would have. In a way, that made me feel worse. On the upside for him, his old partner finally moved back in and they are acknowledging they are together now, so some good came from it, right?

Sad When He’s Not Looking

I’m not sure if I succeeded in breaking things off with my fiancé without hurting his feelings. Once I told him I didn’t think we should get married anymore, it was like he couldn’t get out of the room fast enough, and I never saw him again! He was a phantom who melted away into the mist. Some people might say that means he was so hurt he didn’t want to see me anymore, but I think maybe he was fine living without me. To be honest, I’ve been fine without him.

Now I’ve got my eye on someone I met through work, someone who understands my job and how important it is. I first thought he was interested years ago, when I only had eyes for the man I had a crush on, and it turns out we’re both available now. The man I had the crush on is completely off the market. It’s the man I thought he was in love with all along; it turns out the other man loved him just as much. They give me hope for my own happy ending!

No More Cupid

Maybe I should change my signature to OK (I am) Cupid, after all.

First, the friend that I was worried about didn’t go and try to kill himself after all. He actually started to pull himself together and move on. That’s when the strangest thing happened: the one who did kill himself -- dramatically and publicly -- turned out not to be dead. He reappeared just when his mate was getting engaged to someone else. Unpleasant woman -- she was never right for him. I didn’t go to the wedding.

So everyone was alive, but my matchmaking skills obviously hadn’t worked. However, things continued to develop. The one who committed suicide actually did get shot, things got rocky between the doctor and his wife, and lo and behold, the wife is gone and the doctor has moved back in with his friend. I met him for coffee last week and he gave me a wink and nod, telling me that I should make sure to keep a certain date next month clear.

He looked so pleased, he was almost glowing with it. As for me, maybe it’s time to polish up my arrows.

The Only One in the World

In point of fact, I didn’t tell him I loved him before I left. I almost did. I started to. But then I realized that if I did tell him, I also would have to tell him that we would never see one another again, and I couldn’t bring myself to say that.

Good thing, too, because I ended up with the shortest permanent assignment in history; I think I was recalled after four minutes and returned after about 10. I spent that time considering my relationship with my friend and the bearing it had on our situation. I came to the conclusion that, if I was to return, I must be honest.

It wasn’t easy, especially since he was distracted by my use of various substances that I found it necessary to take in order to leave him.

But once I could convince him that I knew what I was saying, and was telling him the truth for maybe the first time, I explained that my love for him was total and all-consuming, and that it would continue whether he reciprocated or not. I told him that I did not want to put pressure on him, that I would support any decision he made, but that I considered his influence in my life so all-consuming that without it, I would not be the person I have become.

To say he was overcome would not be an exaggeration. It transpired that he never knew how I felt about him. He knew that, as my best friend, he was significant to me, but he felt that he was not worthy -- he felt that I thought he was not worthy -- to share in my life in all ways.

Nothing, of course, could be further than the truth. I look forward to spending my remaining years demonstrating that to him. It is as if his wife never existed (as, indeed, his expected daughter did not exist), and once again, it is the two of us against the rest of the world.

(No Longer) Lost Blogger

I have to thank you, even though I was angry when I first read your response to my letter. How dare you accuse me of being unfair to my wife, when I didn’t even know her real name?

But you were right, of course. If you stack up the ways my wife and I wronged one another, I still think her pile would be higher than mine, but I was far from blameless. And I shouldn’t have married her while I was in love with someone else.

The difficulty was that I could not simply walk away. I was given to understand that doing so would be dangerous, to me and to others. I can’t go into detail -- it was impressed upon me that I may have shared more than I should have in my first letter -- but for the best outcome I had to make her believe I intended to stay, at least for a time. I’ve never done anything more difficult.

Then something like a miracle happened: my friend, the one I am in love with, told me he was in love with me, as well. I knew he cared for me deeply, but I don’t think I ever really believed that was a possibility. At that point, I was able to be honest with him about my feelings, and what I was doing.

There were other issues that we had to deal with -- including finding out that there never was a baby after all -- but for the last several months, we’ve been together: living together, working together, and, yes, sleeping together. Now that I know what it’s like to be home -- really home -- I’ll never walk away again.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Come find me on Tumblr at [JustLookFrightened](http://http://justlookfrightened.tumblr.com//)!


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